Record No.

000238

Classification

Edgy & Adult

Subject

Dark Humor

Format

Story

Record Status

Approved for Public Release

Setup

At a man’s funeral, the widow asked if anyone would like to say a word.

Punchline

At a man’s funeral, the widow asked if anyone would like to say a word. The first person stands up and says, “Plethora.” The widow says, “Thank you. That means a lot.” The next person stands up and says, “Earth.” The widow says, “Thank you. That means the world.” The next person stands up and says, “Watering hole.” A bit confused, the widow says, “I know you meant well.” The next person stands up and says, “Totality.” The widow says, “Thank you, that means everything.” The next person stands up and says, “Dynamite.” The widow says, “Thank you. That’s powerful stuff.” The next person stands up and says, “Nostalgia.” The widow says, “Thank you. That’s a loving memory.” The next person stands up and says, “Embrace.” The widow says, “Thank you. That’s touching.” The next person stands up and says, “Measurement.” The widow says, “Thank you. That means so much.” The next person stands up and says, “Incomprehensible.” The widow says, “Thank you. That means more than you can imagine.” The next person stands up and says, “Bargain.” The widow says, “Thank you. That means a great deal.” The next person stands up and says, “Beer.” The widow says, “Thank you. He would have loved that.”

• #000047My mother had a favourite spoon. Always insisted nobody else could use it. When she died, we decided to bury her with it.
• #000104what do u call a cannibal that only eats coma patients?
• #000247I just came back from my coworker’s funeral, who died when he was hit on the head by a tennis ball…